It Could Have Been Us
by Raederle
Summary: When Severus comes over to Remus' house to discuss the business of espionage, he runs into an old lover instead. >>Gay snogging!!


_Note: This doesn't necessarily follow Nancy Boy, but it can be taken in the same context as that story. I'm keeping the storyline open so I can mess around more._

**It Could Have Been Us**

Remus' meager house had always amazed Severus. It was in the middle of Muggle country, but so well protected that it would have been impossible for anyone to realize from the outside that odd happenings were occurring inside. However, lack of funding resulted in peeling paint on the outside, unsecured cobblestones on the walkway and a sagging roof. The dismal little cottage failed to loom before him. Though the prospect of going inside to talk to Remus was worse. 

Severus nevertheless forced his feet forward on the shaky walkway. His eyes grazed over the forest behind the neighborhood, filled with various sorts of magical creatures, and he briefly thought about the significance of that. Remus would not leave this house. At least, not willingly. Ministry legislation had been pushing against Weres owning property for years, and yet Remus refused to sell the house and prepare for that event. And so Severus found himself required to come here every so often. Remus couldn't be expected to shoulder the entire burden of contact between them. Afterall, the spy network mainly consisted of the two of them. 

The door around front was nearly impossible to use. Remus had seen to that. It would be better if he weren't seen in the front in any case, and Severus walked around the back way discreetly. Remus' rustic little garden, growing a small selection of useful plants, surrounded the cobbles. Severus strode silently to the door and turned the knob. 

"Odd…" Severus said to himself, raising a brow. The door was locked. He slipped his hand into his pitch-black robes and retrieved his wand. "Alohamora." 

The hallway was as depressing as ever, with a small bench and a few lights on the walls shedding a weak glow over the chamber. There were no windows, and only one door into the sitting room. He opened the next door and stepped inside. It was warmer than usual. This place seemed to attract all the cold weather and suck it inside the windowless rooms, and Remus couldn't afford heating. Severus looked over the weathered couch… which had a pair of shoes beside it. A few of the music disks were scattered over the freestanding stereo system. Remus was ever the neat freak. This was all wrong. 

Severus stalked into the kitchen, wand prepared. Again, the room seemed a bit more in disarray than he was accustomed to. His head began to reel with the implications. If someone had been able to get past Remus' defensive strength, he would have to be rather high in the Death Eaters. He could be risking exposure to look further, but he turned resolutely and headed for the study. If Remus were actually here, he would be in there. 

"Remus?" 

Severus heard the familiar voice behind him and jumped around. His heart beat wildly as he planned a scathing retort. The words caught in his throat when he saw the inquisitive face peering at him from behind horn rimmed glasses. 

"James?" Severus heard his voice crack for the first time in seven years. His mind boggled as he looked the man over. The man whose existence had served as his reason for living while he was in school. The man who had left him feeling like he could never lose that lonely feeling. The man standing before him, pregnant. Very pregnant. 

James slid his hand down the small of his back and looked at Severus uncomfortably, at a loss for what to say. His face was puffier than Severus remembered, but his mind automatically told him why that was, and why James wasn't wearing any shoes on his swollen feet… 

"You're… pregnant." Severus said unnecessarily, lifting his head slightly. His eyes widened in disbelief. The look on his face was enough for James, who crooked a goofy smile and looked down at his own distended belly. 

"Really? Is it obvious?" 

"Fairly." Severus answered, still a bit in shock. Silence pervaded and James squirmed uncomfortably. 

"You were looking for Remus?" 

"Maybe." 

"Well, he's gone out for a bit. The Ministry of Magic… had a job for him." James barely concealed his displeasure. Severus nodded absently. A job from the Ministry usually involved doing work that official Aurors couldn't be forced to do. James sighed. "I'm heading to the couch. You can wait if you want." 

James turned awkwardly and tottered back into Remus' sitting room. Severus followed with silent steps. 

"When…?" Severus couldn't manage to finish the question. Here was James, _his_ James, completely up the duff with someone else's child… 

"I'm due late June…" James said, struggling to ease himself down onto the battered couch. He sunk heavily into the soft cushions and shook his head. "I hope the baby comes early though." 

Severus stood watching him with pursed lips. James crooked another grin. 

"Too bad I'm not as good at potions as you and Lily. We really hadn't planned on doing the kid thing until later, when it was safe…" He shrugged and absently petted circles over his belly. "Anyway, Lil and I are living here with Remus for a little while. We needed to fall off the map while I was carrying so nobody dangerous could find us." 

"How do you know I'm not dangerous?" Severus replied with an edge. He stood looming over the couch like a dark storm approaching. James narrowed his eyes, never losing his mirthful appearance. 

" I know you better than anyone else, Sev. You would never hurt me or my baby." 

Severus sighed and crossed his arms. "Because you're careless…" 

"I don't mean to be. Maybe it's just fate." James placed his other hand over his belly. "Maybe our little Potter here was meant to be born now." 

"Maybe you should think before you get carried away in your throws of passion." Severus snapped. 

"Actually, Lil and I were just trying to figger how it would be with members of the _opposite_ sex." He looked over at Severus. "It's her turn next time. I'd guess it would still be easier even as a Muggle for the woman to carry." 

Severus creased his brow. During the Dark Times, Muggles had caught and murdered so many women, witches and Muggle women alike, that it had become necessary to find another way to pass on the more powerful gifts. Even in the present day, the spells that had been used to allow men to carry children were active in the bodies of long established bloodlines. It would have been easy, in fact easier than not, for he and James to have children together. 

Severus sat down on the couch next to him and looked seriously into his eyes. James stopped smiling for a moment, took Severus' hand, and placed it on his belly. Severus looked down grimly, his pale face puckering in distaste for the situation. Suddenly, a flutter of movement darted under his hand, and he jerked it away as if scalded. 

"A natural Quidditch player." James said proudly, his merry brown eyes beaming. He had to arch his back in accommodation to the acrobatics going on inside him. "Lookit the sprog go!" 

Severus watched in amazement as a small wave of motion rippled across James' stomach. He put his hand back to the surface. It was James, it was a part of James, and at the same time something else. 

"It's…" Severus was dumbfounded at what was happening inside the man that he loved. 

"I know." James replied, a bit breathlessly. Severus's face hardened. He removed his hands. 

"This could have been us." He said darkly. 

James looked down pensively. "My offer still stands… I still love you, Sev…" 

"How can I believe that." Severus stood up and turned away from James. "You're pregnant with _her_ child." 

"She wouldn't mind if we were together. She and Posey still see one another…" James paused, fighting the urge to jump up and hug Severus from behind. Mostly because he didn't think he could accomplish it before Severus stalked away. "I miss you." 

James' words hit the air and hung in the silence waiting for an answer. Severus glared unrelenting at the wall and listened to James' heavy breathing. 

"Oh!" 

Severus spun around to see James' joyful face pinched with pain, as he doubled over his middle, one hand grasping his side. He knelt next to James immediately and grabbed his other hand. 

"What is it? What's wrong?" 

"Nothing… he… just kicks so hard sometimes…" James gave him a wincing smile. "I'm… okay, really… Sev…" 

Severus blinked in disbelief, still alert for some danger that he didn't see. James gave his hand a squeeze. 

"Help me up?" 

Severus nodded nervously. He slid his shoulder under James' arm and almost lifted the heavily pregnant man to his feet. Once steady, James pushed both of his hands on the small of his back, swinging his body into a deep stretch. 

"Shh…." He whispered breathing in and out deeply. "Calm down. Calm down." 

Severus frowned and leaned over to James' middle. His deep voice came soothingly, "There there little one, no need for all that." 

Severus rubbed against the small punches and kicks, muttering in that deep low voice until the thrashing stopped. The small house was silent as Severus stopped speaking and he looked up to see James' face looking down on him with admiration. He straightened himself and looked back awkwardly. 

"It really could have been us." He said softly. James reached out with one hand and ran his index finger down Severus' nose. 

"You have a way with him. I bet you two get alone famously. Same sign and all that." James stepped a little closer, and Severus took in a deep breath. He could feel the baby still moving softly against his own stomach, and James' lips were so close. He placed his hand on James' back, gently rubbing up and down the sensitive muscles. James wet his lips. "Sev…" 

"Shut up, Potter." 

Severus caught his open mouth in a wide kiss, enveloping James' lips in one hungry swoop. James leaned forward just as eagerly, his lips pressing firmly against Severus'. They worked each others' mouths back and forth, and James began to fondly remember the endurance that Severus had for kissing. He gasped for a breath before opening his mouth wider and brushed his tongue against the edges of Severus' lips. Severus leaned in and sucked on the tip of his tongue. He moved his hands along James' back as they kissed, rubbing and grasping against the tight, overworked muscles. The corners of his mouth began to tweak into that self-conscious smirk as he slid his tongue in deeper, running it along James' teeth, the roof of his mouth. Their tongues moved together in an undulating wave. 

James pulled out of the kiss panting and sunk into Severus' strong arms, spend from the long time without breathing. He didn't quite have the nose that Severus did and couldn't hold out as long. In fact, he was beginning to feel a little dizzy, and to his surprise, James found himself being supported by black-garbed arms holding him firmly but lovingly. 

"Sev…" 

"At least you know I haven't gotten… rusty." He said wryly. James leaned his head onto Severus' shoulder. They began to move slowly. 

"Where… are we going?" 

"To bed." Severus said, brushing a hand against James' unruly black hair, which seemed to have gained an ounce more curl and wildness with his pregnancy. They walked slowly through the dim halls of Remus' house until they had reached the bedroom, where Severus eased James onto the queen sized bed. James looked up at him wearily as he sat on the bed. 

"Coming with me?" 

"No." Severus said softly. He took James' shoulders and helped him settle onto his side. 

"No?" James muttered back, looking back over his shoulder. Severus sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed James' back with one hand. He made large circles over his spine, and James all but purred in response to his touch. 

"I do hope he looks like you." Severus said, looking down at his feet. "I think I might have trouble with him if he resembled Lily. Though I do have the greatest respect for her, mind you. She's very intelligent. I just might have a problem." 

The house was silent, and Severus looked at James for a response. He was sleeping deeply, his head resting limply on the large feather pillows. Severus allowed himself a genuine smile as he gently took the glasses from James' face. He looked at the dark horned frames and folded them slowly before setting them on the nightstand. Severus sighed heavily and stood. 

"I miss you too." He said quietly as he left the room. He would wait for Remus in the sitting room where his business here could be finished, and he could leave before it became too difficult for his reason to keep control. 


End file.
